I'm just a kid
by Mizu-Tenshi
Summary: If anybody asks who stained the snow with blood blame it on me, it doesn't matter if I'm just a kid they can't do anything to me where I'm going' oneshot songfic.


My first one-shot and my first songfic. The song is called "I'm Just A Kid" by Simple plan. I know it's not Christmas but who cares? I don't own beyblade or this song.  
  
***********************  
  
~ Kai's POV ~  
  
I woke up feeling the bleak morning sun on my face and watching the light filter through the open windows of my room. I roll over a check the time on my alarm clock. My eyes widen. Seven O'clock? Since when did I sleep so late? Well it is Christmas so I guess I can take one day off to be lazy.  
  
I shake my head and get dressed. It's been a week since the tournament in Russia, I wonder where everyone is, where are all my so-called friends this happy Christmas? I haven't heard from them since the Christmas holidays. Did they forget me?  
  
//I woke up it was seven  
  
Waited till eleven  
  
Just to figure out that no one would call  
  
I think I got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them  
  
What's another night all alone?  
  
When you're spending everyday on you own.  
  
And here it goes//  
  
There are no presents and there's no tree or any decorations, I never celebrated Christmas at the abbey, looks like old habits are hard to break. I don't really blame them for not getting me anything, I didn't get anything for them either...well not much.  
  
Outside I hear children laughing and playing; everyone seems to be having fun except me. It's not fair, I know, the feeling makes me painfully aware of a deep empty void in my heart. If I was really honest with myself I'd say that I was just a kid like them, a kid who grew up too fast and is probably too mature for his own good.  
  
I've always been alone, I shouldn't care but I can't help it, am I being weak by feeling lonely? Is this my fault? Maybe this is punishment, maybe I was never meant to be happy, I don't deserve it after what I did. I betrayed my team and, even though I came back, traitors are never forgiven. Does anyone care? If they do then they shouldn't, they shouldn't bother with me.  
  
//I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare.  
  
I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair.  
  
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is.  
  
Having more fun then me tonight//  
  
I'm too lazy to do anything so I crawl back into bed and stare at the ceiling trying to recall the last happy moment. Outside it begins to snow and cold wind blows in but I don't really care, it's not like my heart could get any colder. The white powdered snow brings back faint nostalgic memories of Russia after the world tournament when we all celebrated our victory.  
  
//And maybe when the night is dead, I'll crawl into my bed.  
  
Staring at these four walls again.  
  
I'll try to think about the last time, I had good time.  
  
Everyone's got somewhere to go.  
  
And their gonna leave me here on my own, and here it goes//  
  
It was the only time I ever truly smiled, the only time I felt like I actually belonged somewhere in this screwed up world and the only time I forgot about my training to be the best and just let myself enjoy the moment.  
  
I can't stay in one place for too long so I get up again and go to the bathroom. I turn on the tap and splash water over my face. That's right, Kai, wash it all away, all those memories both good and bad just wash it all away.  
  
Still this emptiness persists, is this as good as it gets? Did I do something to deserve this? This loneliness and this feeling of being forsaken and forgotten. Is it my fault I was brainwashed into only wanting to have power and never anything else? Is it my fault I was taught to have no emotions? No, I can't be held responsible, I won't be held responsible; after all I was just a kid.  
  
//I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare.  
  
I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair.  
  
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is.  
  
Having more fun then me tonight//  
  
What the hell is wrong with me? Since when did I ever try and dodge the blame? I don't hate them for not coming over or for never speaking or getting in touch with me over the holidays.  
  
I wonder what they thought of me as, a cold and anti-social bastard perhaps? They once said that I was the strongest on the team though Tyson argued about it, they once said that I was reliable and always there to pull them out of a tough situation, it makes me wonder how they could be so damn blind. I'm a fucking hypocrite; I'm a social-misfit, a lonely kid that the world seems to be out to get.  
  
//What the hell is wrong with me?  
  
Don't fit in with anybody  
  
How did this happen to me?  
  
Wide-awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep  
  
And every night is the worst night ever//  
  
Whose fault is it?  
  
Mine.  
  
Each day just seems to drag at my existence and it's my fault 'coz I'm too damn stubborn to change or admit weakness and ask for help. Is it me? Yes, of course it's me; it can't be the whole damn world so it has to be me.  
  
They're somewhere out there laughing and playing and I'm here rotting in my own room. Forgotten, forsaken, cast away like a toy you're done playing with. Maybe they don't know it. I've never actually shown much emotion and I've always wanted my own breathing space. To tell the truth I do prefer my own company but no one wants to be completely alone I just wanted them to know when to back off.  
  
//I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare.  
  
I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair.  
  
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is.  
  
Having more fun then me tonight//  
  
It was all a mask.everything I did and everything I said was a dam charade but I never counted on living a lie and becoming my mask.  
  
//I'm just a kid//  
  
I was just a kid, I'm still just a kid and I'm already world-weary. I was just a kid, I'm still just a kid but I never had the chance to hang out and make friends, get drunk and do all the other stuff kids should get to do. Inside I know I'll always be that lonely child no matter how many years pass by I'll still be that kid who got screwed over by the world.  
  
//I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare.  
  
I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair.  
  
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is.  
  
Having more fun then me tonight//  
  
The snow is beautiful, it would be a shame to taint it with blood. I forgive them, my team. Can they forgive me? If someone asks who soiled the pure white snow with blood blame it on me, it doesn't matter if I'm just a kid, they can't do anything to me where I'm going.  
  
//I'm all alone tonight  
  
Nobody cares tonight  
  
'Coz I'm just a kid tonight//  
  
**************************  
  
And there you have it, tell me if it sucked and please be sure to review! 


End file.
